Do I or Don’t I? WHICH?

Which decision is right for you and how to make the ‘right’ choice!

Have you ever been in the conundrum of choosing between advice you’ve been given.. that is completely opposite to each other? The yes/no, go/don’t go’s of this life.. and ofcourse you have! Everyone has been there or experienced that inner indecision of what to do, what to do, what the hell am I supposed to do!?

Firstly, stop beating yourself up about it! Thinking about something over and over again is not going to resolve anything and is counterintuitive to your own well being! Aka, stop tormenting yourself! This is what I do and would recommend doing if you find yourself at a cross roads.

With times being as uncertain as they are it’s no surprise if most of us are in limbo wondering which way to turn. Busineses overturned, relationships getting stronger or on the brink of extinction.. times suck! It is what it is though and no matter how stressed, tired, angry, trapped, lonely you feel.. it will only be affecting you and still the pandemic soars on.

Surrender to the journey. Whatever your indecision, just know that you are in exactly where you need to be and that there is never just these two, or several, alternatives you have in life.. these are options for right now. The future holds so many (thankfully) millions of other decisions from a humble espresso to buying a house! We must count ourselves lucky living in a first world where such things are an option so gratitude for the present moment is a must! It’s always a must regardless of having to make a choice.

I once was at a club, I know.. that was a lifetime ago, and a typical ladies bathroom would have girls organising their dresses, sorting out their makeup, plain gossiping and discussing who was looking at who.. you get the picture. If you’re a woman, you know. But there were these two young women chatting, one in the cubicle which I took to have a boyfriend, and the other outside it washing her hands at the sink. The discussion went something like, ‘He’s no good for you, he messaged you when you want, a booty call, then doesn’t ever call you back until he needs you again! Get rid of him!’.. cubicle reply, ‘I know but we do hang out and I love being with him. Sex is awesome but I really like him’. This carried on for what seemed, in my drunken mind, for a humorous eternity. The girl came out and started washing her hands and the argument, as it developed, started escalating between them. This part is usual for me, I can never mind my own business when people fight or have a misunderstanding and I could feel her friend was indeed right and this guy most likely didn't have particularly good intentions or much respect for her friend.. mostly I could feel how her friend cared so much for her. So before tears came out, I turned and asked did she really love the guy? ‘Yes, I really do. But my friends all want me to break up with him and it’s getting tiring fighting them snd fighting to be with him’. Seemed a bit of a rough situation to be in all round so all I said was this.

You are exactly where you need to be. Don’t make any decisions. Just stop a while.. because whatever decision you make now will not be from your heart. The time will come when the guy is going to step up or he won’t and you will get fed up of the situation and move on. The choice will be yours entirely and your friends (looking at her mate) need to just be your friends. They always want the best for you and they may be absolutely 100% correct in what they’re telling you about this guy but it has got to be your choice to make a change. One way or another. But now is clearly not that time. So chill. And your friends, pull up a chair.. this could take a while.

This is pretty much the first part of decision making for me. Are you ready for it or not? If you’re still indecisive, and you haven’t get an imminent time stamp on it, then perhaps you just stay a while, then decide. Believe me we are never truly ‘staying’ as we are even a fractionally moving forwards always, like getting older. Wait until you know in your heart what the right thing to do truly is.

When you have a time stamp on it.. it becomes a little trickier and more stressful as you apply pressure on yourself to get to your choice. I know there are a lot of people, a LOT, who fear choosing the wrong choice and it’s just not possible in my books. If both choices are good, either way, you’ll do good by you. Retrospect is the devil sometimes but if you believe that you made the right choice at the time then, remind yourself that good or bad this was meant for your highest good, your personal growth and development. Good and bad.

So with a time stamp on things, I always use visualisation. I picture myself accepting one offer, then turning the other down and how my friend or the people involved would react, then getting my bags ready for that choice (for example a college decision), going to the campus, feeling the classrooms and enjoying the syllabus. Then I’d stop and tune in to how I feel. Truly. Was I happy? Regretful. Then I’d do the reverse, I’d tune in to the other choice, picture myself turning the first one I thought of down, packing my bags, picture the campus and students.. then tune in to how I’d feel. Just the process of accepting one and turning down the other with a full movie in my head worked. I knew instantly what my true inner self wanted to choose in the first place and it may seem simple, but try it. Works every time!

If you’re not a visual person you can try something I’ve discovered recently snd that’s the ‘Sway Technique’. I attended a health and well-being zoom forum which had so many helpful tips on maintaining our good selves, well, always good! One of the techniques that stood out to me, and that we were asked to do at the time is the sway technique.

You need to stand up, feet hip width apart and firmly grounded on the floor, close your eyes or not but just stand relaxed with your arms by your sides. When you feel nice and relaxed, ask your question.. ‘should I accept invitation A?’.. you will feel start from inside you a weight described like a bottle of water where when tilted the contents move with added momentum to one side.. this is the same with you. You will either sway forwards or backwards. The movement, as I said, starts from within just be open with your question and let your true compass guide your body to your answer. It worked every single time for me & was a complete revelation of a technique! You must allow the movement to start from within.

Dr Claussen demonstrates on a youtube video I found of this. Here he has his hands on his heart and advises that he learnt this technique from a nun:

https://youtu.be/N_VoqGfzvRo

To be fair you can use the sway technique to discover absolutely anything.. are my chakaras clear today?.. am I in good health today?.. Will I find a good job this year?.. that is more psychic and I believe that you can use this motion in that matter. My personal thoughts is that we have guides who will always channel you to your answers, the ones good for you, but we often shade over it with dilemma, stress, anxiety.. and totally miss this true-to-self way to know what is best! Try it out and let me know what you think!

If all of the above seems utterly far fetched to you, you may need to sit down and write a ‘pros and cons‘ list and truly be honest about how you feel about each bullet point you write down. Do that for each decision and see, then, where you stand with each. Your inner self knows what you truly want and sometimes we cloud over the answer with our fears. Just make sure you are brutally honest about each!

So try all of the above but know that if you still don’t feel ready, you may just need to live with things for a little while because the right choice for you will become obvious. Follow your intuition, the universe’s guidance, and see where it takes you. Only you have the answer and in my opinion, what ever you decide, whether it’s left or right, ultimately will always lead you to the same amount of good and bad that you needed to go through to grow as a soul. Our life lessons will still rock up, the good and the bad. So choose wisely for happiness and fulfilment and make this leg of your journey full of happiness so that you may always be ready and strong for what comes your way.. the good, the bad & the better!

Love & Light☀️

Happy Fri-yay!