Fish out of Water

Sacred Rebel Oracle Cards by Alana Fairchild

Hello again! Today, after my focus has been on TikTok, I was guided towards this post. Rather than writing I've been movie editing, or at least that's how I feel on TikTok.. but I am enjoying it. I'll add the QR code below if you don't follow my instagram account, yet. Please do!

I hope everyone has been well, doing life the way you do, forging your own path and future ahead, in whatever way that is for you.

It is precisely here, at this crossroads of choice, that I find myself. Not for work but for creativity and bringing that into my daily life. Music, Art, Design.. all these things are part of me, defining how people perceive me but in fact show what I am capable of, reflecting only a fraction of who I am. And who I am has always been someone who feels a little bit odd to the norm.

Let me rephrase that.. I have found kindred spirits who share some of the transient, open & free, self-culture that I feel I am.. but have never found anyone like me, let alone connect to life in the same way I see many people do; have a place to call home, belong to a country, act like a specific culture and traditions. Everything I am seems to be a melting pot of experiences I've accrued while living in different countries, going to different schools, living in different homes and meeting new & diverse people. People whom, some of which were also foreigners where we lived, and ranged from the beautiful human broad spectrum that is existence and life shown on this little planet of ours.

I moved when I was 2 months old.. then again at 4, 6, 12, 17.. these were all to different countries. Brazil to New York City to Bahrain to Singapore, back to Brazil and since then, the UK. As a family we travelled within each of the countries. spilling into other parts of the map nearby or of interest.. Florida (pretty sure Disney World there had a goofy that scared me half to death.. I was 3, he was talllllll!), California/San Francisco, Japan/Tokyo, Malaysia, Thailand.. with my parents fire for travel and my fathers line of work I am used to being around diversity. But also soaked that up along the way.

The fact is.. our life experiences, whether, moving around forcing you to always be open to making new friends, accepting new circumstances, schools, cultures, people and making yourself strong in your difference.. or whether through illness, loss, sadness.. both physical and emotional changes alter us forever! There is no two ways about it!.. only an infinitesimal catalyst to it.

When we feel like the world is against us or we don't fit in, it often is because we are different, think differently than someone else. We are all unique individuals which have grown up in specific cultures and traditions.. but who we really are is a complex web of everything that has touched us since birth.

My card of the day.. the message feels synchronistic and this in fact inspired me to post here again. I started writing this on instagram then felt it needed more space to write. If you’ve always felt a fish out of water, someone who doesn’t really belong anywhere like other people or you've outgrown your surroundings and friends.. this message here is for you, too.

Against the Grain, from Sacred Rebels Oracle cards, has as its imagery a person swimming and birds flying accross them.. birds that can fly underwater. Reminds me of that quote,

A bird may love a fish, but where would they live?

This card is about finding a way. The bird and fish are both components of ourselves at times.. for me, most of the time because of my own experience and the fingerprint that's made on me as a person. And I have always been someone who loves the diversity and enjoys moving to her own beat. I've often felt like I'm pushing against the grain at times, obstinately.. not to cause problems but as the book description of this card calls it, as 'a loving catalyst'.. someone who creates change by seeking out what inspires and makes them happy/joyful.

Its funny, I was talking to a soul friend I met and known since Uni in London, who said, that no matter where I went afterwards there were, ".. always people who are trying to dim your light, push you down in the mud for their own reasons".. and I had felt it around me but never thought anything other than everyone has it!. But I knew what she was saying was true. It became a thing as I grew up to make myself less "shinny', less stand out and stand-alone, less of everyone else around me that might feel threatened or jealous in some way. Partly because as I grew up I was told that humility and quiet was being a good girl, something my exuberant, fiery, energetic child-me would always be told. But also because of the people that surrounded me as I grew up.

There is, for the record, nothing special about me. There is nothing any more special than them or anyone else. The fact is.. me being me and doing my own thing seemed to put people on edge, put their nose out in life and make them feel differently about their own ideas and surroundings. And likewise they have taught me to stop dimming myself for others. The saying, 'haters will be haters' is a bit extreme but captures the essence of some souls I've been around.

When we trigger others, they trigger you.. Simply put, I don't change myself anymore.. only perhaps the environment I live in. I do this for myself and live by the ethos I embody when meeting nee people and even with those I know, and that is to raise others in their unique light and encourage them to be brighter. I'm not an 'in-your-face' type of personality either. I adopt the usual variety of facets we all have; discernment, positive energy, exuberance, calm, happiness, sadness.. I am as changeable as most and strong as others. We are all unique in our own beautiful ways.

If this post has found you today.. maybe it is the Universe/spirit telling you that you are wonderful, go ahead beautiful soul and pave the way for your own progress, growth and happiness in exactly the way that suits you! You are exactly where you need to be for that and let all that does not resonate with you anymore fall away. The people/situation had their place in your life.. but don't ever diminish your light for anything.. in fact.. shine so brightly we all need to put sunscreen and our shades on! 😎

Above is the book explanation which is most synchronistic to me.. but explains this much more eloquently than I do!

Have a wonderful rest of your week, whatever you may be doing, and an even better weekend ahead!

I will be at a crafts fair doing Tarot readings.. it's a first for me.. feel a little out there now.. but this card turned up just in time for me to feel like I got this!

Here's my TikTok account:

..and if you are in the nearby area, I will be doing readings at this craft fair:

For now..

Follow me on TikTok for weekly video versions of Ashram Mondays and have a beautiful rest of your week and July!!

All of my,

Love&Light☀️