Foul mood? Snap out of it.

caption: Photo by Crypto Crow from Pexels

I often think about the days when we are less jovial, the ones we’ve lost our mojo to the Gods of nuisance and negativity. It happens to everyone, even to someone as positive as me.. and the last thing you want to hear then is, ‘it’s ok! Things will get better’, ’cheer up love’, ‘It can‘t be that bad’, or the worst one of them all, ‘he’s not worth it’, where they are assuming all shades of things here. Anyone wanted to punch their lights out? Metaphorically speaking, ofcourse! (moooostly).. but honestly.. The only way you or I will improve our moods.. well, point made right there! We improve our own moods. No one is responsible for our moods or a good or bad day. People may add to one side of that or the other during the day but ultimately we are the only ones in control of ourselves.. and no one else!

Rule no.1 of snapping out of a foul mood. It is not up to your best mate, your parents, your spouse, your siblings or even the poor unsuspecting postman who ends up slowly backing out of your front gate while you’re delivering the best reality show to your neighbours! I witnessed this and usually I’ve played the postman’s part here though I’ve felt like the breakdown many a times.. anyways I digress! The point I am making is that our soul tribe, whoever they may be, do cheer us up! And they are always there for us. But if you are expecting them to change your mood every time someones had a cross word with you, you missed your bus, you forgot to wear socks.. then you are imposing and asking way too much of another human being. Your soul tribe have their own issues to deal with too.. they, too, will have contrast in their lives to siv through and there are days when they are quite possibly in a worse mood than you are! You support each other, yes, but you do not use them as a crutch. It is no ones responsibility but yours to turn your mood around.

The truth is, if you rely entirely on your friends to raise your mood and spirit for everything in your life, A) they are a fickle focus point because, well, they have bad days too so they will not be able to be there for you 24/7 (and shouldn’t be anyways) and B) you may be one of those energy vampires without even knowing it! Time to stop, evaluate, try to resolve your inner turmoil yourself, step away from the problem, rationalise that some people in this world are unhinged that day, having their own mess of a day and clearly not coping well and that you are not their problem. They are their own problem to deal with, as you are yours.. you just need to get out of your own way to make a change.

If someone comes up to you in the street and shouts at you for no reason at all, you may react, but either way you leave that situation in that moment of your life and live the rest of your day. That person, for whatever reason led them there, to be that angry at a complete stranger without an explanation other than not queueing in a straight line (believe it or not, this happened to me not that long ago!) then you know they must have so much contrast in their lives, so much stress, worries or anxieties that have led them there, to that breaking point. In my case, what started as me standing on 2m stickers that swerved away from the queue proceeded as a torrent of abuse, on & off, that lasted the entire queue to the cashier. More as muttering to herself. Having been sick not that long ago and still finding myself clinically vulnerable, the 2m stickers on the floor are a bit of a blessing where so many people without masks just seem to live a cavalier anti-pandemic lifestyle. I tried to speak calmly, I was a bit taken aback, ‘Shut your mouth’ and, ‘you see? They are queueing straight!’ pointing at the back of the queue who were also not using the stickers on the floor to space themselves. 2 meters is, in fact, a fair bit of space, people don’t seem to have a clue what that is. I’ve often found many times people passing by me and mistake 2m for 20cm to be honest, it’s that much of a rascal. She got to the edge of my patience I’m not going to lie and came close to a ‘celebrity death match’ programme at the post office. But all I could think was, ‘you, are shouting at me, for not queueing straight? I mean so many problems in the world.. but this!’.. on top of that, later that day, a friend had not liked something I said to her the previous evening so she was really cross at me and we spent a while sending messages to clear that up. A misunderstanding that was relatively soon rectified. It was a tricky day haha. The fact is I usually follow law of attraction and when these things happen to me it shows me very clearly how far from alignment I really am if I’m attracting these situations in my life.. but that’s just my own view. The fact is I handled these incidents with calm which is unusual for a Saggi let me tell you, fire woman! I am NOT a pushover but when someone without a mask is that aggressive I didn’t want her any nearer to me than she was and my friend is my friend and worth every bit of time to clear things up! I am n. perfect & would hate to find out I’ve hurt someone. It happens.

On a side note if you find yourselves in a situation with someone incredibly aggressive and loud then this is what I did here and have done often when I feel showing my true emotions is likely going to make things worse for myself. You stop, while all this is going on.. if someone is shouting at you, there is personal baggage involved 100% so zone out and step out of your body as if you are looking at this situation detached, you are looking at yourself from the back and over your shoulder is whoever, being aggressive and watch it as if watching a movie. Often this helps ground your emotions to be able to handle these in a cool, calm and collected way. Now add Mickey Mouse ears to them.. job done! You detach and lighten the situation entirely.. whilst keeping an oscar-wining-performance poker face! It’s simplistic and takes a little practice not to allow yourself to be swept by the other energies around you that are negative and aggressive. But if you manage to say to yourself, ‘ok, stop and think, this isn’t right’.. then try to implement the steps above it will eventually work.

Rule no.2 try not to be angry at the world when these things happen, and perpetuating the shit-snowball escalating and spreading more than it already has is key to a happier world. My friend and I had a jarring few days but we inevitably got back on track. It’s what friends do. The post office crazy woman, well she has not made me queue straight yet.. she might get the kink out of me yet but whilst there are stickers on the floor helping with social distancing, I land on them. I may have needed most of that day to recover but my focus had shifted to other things, a nice walk in nature always helps me, and things got better but I certainly don’t want to shout at anyone else when I’m the one who’s feeling hurt or angry. It isn’t their fault.

Rule no.3 do not give up!.. it’s time to guide your brain to thinking of something better, something that sparks joy in you again. It’s finding the soothing happiness of a hot cup of coco, feeling the sun on your body, enjoy reading the papers on a park bench.. there are all post covid situations which makes it harder to find the pleasantness of a day after discord. Yes a best friend might say it was a rotten day for you.. then, you make it better. Easily said than done when your head and heart are locked into the events of the day so whenever your brain veers into thinking about things again, focus it elsewhere. Be strict with your thoughts. and gently guide them every other second, if that’s how often it happens to negative loop. Stop the cycle of doom.

I was once asked what I do with my internal dialogue and I can tell you now hand-on-heart I have never had one! I feel things and run the events like a film in my head, a much more visual sort of thought process, so that could keep emotions alive but I have never had that internal negative chatter most people I speak to seem to have. I may feel shame, sadness, shock, angry but I never call myself an idiot. My brother thinks I’m a weirdo for it he asked me a million questions about it and provided different hypothetical situations but I just never have. So it may be easier for me to detach without having that extra burden but if you do have that internal dialogue it’s finding a way to quieten that down, if possible, though! If anyone has that negative internal dialogue please add in the comments below how you snap out of it. It may help someone else. From my experience with friends it is always telling them how beautiful, unique and fair they have been in a situation.. boosting self-esteem will certainly be addressed in another blog ahead.

The best thing to do, when you really haven’t got the energy for any of the above, is to take a nap. Sleep is nature’s reset button and I‘ve read many a times about how when we sleep we are not creating contrast for ourselves and there’s none-to-be-had externally either. Like the neutral zone. It works in helping your body heal, rest and recuperate. It helps with dieting and weight loss, physical healing and health & well being. If all else fails and things have truly gone south then, take a nap, wake up better.

I have often found myself exercising like mad or going for walks in nature to try to get my mood up and generally stops me reaching for a bottle of gin. But if I find myself skipping towards my fridge to help myself to a pre-made margarita, or 3.. who’s judging?

For anyone who has undergone serious loss this post helps but quite frankly, the stages of healing where it comes to loss is much much slower, a day at a time, one foot in front of the other. The first year is the toughest one.. a first year of firsts, first birthday, anniversary Christmas without etc. It’s the toughest one. After that you slowly recover. My heart goes out to you now if you find yourself in that position today and I hope that you find, daily, something that makes life a little easier for you.

Life is that up and down journey.. but I hope this post finds you today reaching for the good feels, no matter how small, and that you have a good day. But if you’re day isn't going quite as planned, take a deep breath, you are truly amazing and you got this! Time to think of something happy.

Love & Light☀️