Finding your Rainbow

’Others have it worse’ I often hear people say.. though truth be told I have always disliked comparing one suffering to another. It is purely subjective and it’s all suffering. So if you currently find yourself in a situation in your life, where you are in the process of breaking and making your next gold painted glue in your personal Kintsugi journey.. hang. in. there.

If you’ve been/are ill, suffering with mental health issues, loss, isolated from friends & loved ones, been made redundant, your company has had to foreclose or is pending the world‘s return to some normality again along with everything else in current life and craving hugs like a small addict.. then let me tell you, you are currently on trend! Whatever your situation, trying to make positive out of life’s current unpredictable scenario isn't an easy task, especially when what you used to do to forget life and have fun aren’t there for you now.. but I believe there is always a positive force trying to guide you to happiness, contentment and joy. We are tasked with finding what that is in our confinement and amidst a pandemic.

To explain this properly, everyone has something they believe to be a positive guiding force of good in their lives; religion, self-belief, good friends, family, a magic rock or simply a lucky charm. For me, the logical side to me, says that positivity is cultivating rest, eating good food and exercising to raise my dopamine levels & reanimate my happy hormones.. the spiritual side to me says the universe guides me through situations in life for my personal development/enlightenment and my most positive & rewarding experiences to boot, all I have to do is be present to truly see and appreciate them.

The answer is, simply put, but not as simply executed; when heavy negativity surrounds you, you must try and guide your thoughts to the things that are working and surrender the focus & outcome of the ones that aren’t, putting the Negative Nancies type-of-thoughts in the bin! (metaphorically, also this is a British saying, much like Moaning Myrtle in Harry Potter).

I’m coming from the perspective of someone who was living with Cancer, I found my focus was aimed on stillness and gratitude. I truly felt the value of everything in my life! Just being me, at that moment. This is something of a learned mindset, but it certainly allowed me to find, between moments/days/months of truly being sick, pure happiness & wholesomeness.

One personal memory stands out when I wanted to take my family out for a walk in the Peak District National Park in the UK. There’s a particular place there which I love to go to.. and just being there, breathing in that fresh country air, feel the sunshine warm my face, even my clothes felt hot to touch, embrace my family and with my eyes, the most beautiful luscious green and blue scenery of a barely clouded sky with the smell of wild flowers and farmlands nearby.. I did not think for one moment that I was ill then.. until a passer-by reminded me I should probably put my hat back on.. I did look quite ill & was sporting a fresh GI Jane, no hair on my nugget kind of do, but even that couple that passed by and were taken aback a bit by my appearance, my brazen appreciation for life rewarded me with the biggest beamed smiles that made me forget this body I wore, back again to my meditative contemplation of beauty, life and the moment.

The universe guided me to that walk, albeit bouldered/awkward for the clinically unhealthy and aged mother, it awarded us all a much needed break from the gloomy circumstances that surrounded our lives then. But before that it had guided me to have a moment in my back garden sitting with my mum in the sunshine holding hands.. before that was appreciating my bee-garden florals freshly out.. before that was the best coconut flavoured hot chocolate with a giant American-style marshmallow I could barely sip my drink without it bumping my nose and making me smile every time.. before that a much needed hot bath with Epsom salts that smell of orange blossoms. I also remember my brother outside the bathroom door then asking if I was ok, he was tasked with the job of making sure I was, while mum was busy cooking downstairs.. I even remember when it was time to shave the hair off, my brother shaving his in solidarity and all I could think was my mum watching both her children shave each other’s heads.. Friends visiting me and stroking my head giving me the best cuddles, being so grateful now that I had human touch pre-lockdown as well through this.. These are some of the memories I will always hold in my heart during one of the worst times of my life. I go where my inspiration takes me, from moment to moment, and it never fails in guiding me to some delicious pleasure and interaction with life. It was then down to me, to notice them and engage with the good feelings it gave me, taking note and enjoying every second of them. The smallest of things can be one of your inspirations of your day, so pay attention, they are a constant flow of Island-hopping-style goodness!

Today, I went on a long walk, I’d been ill for a few days now, nothing unusual for me, and the intoxicating mixture that is music in my ears, sunshine, nature and a good pair of walking boots was perfect. The photograph above is one I snapped on my walk.. the view made me suddenly stop, it triggered the analogy of the positive light around us obscured by ’insert what stops you being happy’ here seen in this most literal sense. We are our own trees where self-doubt, sadness, stress, anxiety, illness obscure our light even if it is always there.. all we need to do is focus on something happy, meditate and reach for the blue skies found behind the clouds, just waiting to poke out.

Our job & sole purpose in this lifetime is to find and be happy, and for me, I believe we are each here to teach & touch each others lives with kindness & love.. hold the positivity that finds you daily and focus on it, enjoy every moment, revel in them, give thanks and feel the gratitude to appreciate them in full! Life would be less fulfilling without our presence of happiness in it and why else are we here for? So hold onto your magic rock, or say your prayers at night, thank the universe for your luckiest day yet, feel good in order to attract good and feel loved & looked after because you are, by your personal beliefs, by your loved ones and by the love you have for yourself.

This does not mean your mind won’t stray back to your present circumstances, the ones that are less than positive, but it means that you conscientiously make an effort to train your thoughts back to joy.. and eventually, your mind naturally surrenders the outcome to what it cannot fix or change and allows your present moment in life to be one of the greatest gifts you have right now. Rain and sunshine makes a rainbow after all.

Wishing you a fulfilling day and week ahead,

keep your eyes peeled for the next Ashram Monday post and comment/subscribe if these posts are inspiring you.

Love & Light☀️🌈