Ashram Monday’s

Human Kintsugi uses the Affirmators deck by KnockKnock

No.18

Todays most synchronistic card comes in after my last two posts address somewhat the cleansing process we have been going through with these Super Moons.. because it speaks directly to facing our demons and bring in change. The ‘Courage’ card flipped out as I was shuffling to tell you, that you can do this.

The depiction speaks so clearly of the internal dealings we have with our repeat cycles and fears we hold onto. Out shadow side as many spiritually inclined call it.. and therefore addressing these issues is called Shadow Work. It’s not easy working through your own demons, your own fears and insecurities and sometimes we don’t even know what they are only know our triggers, what makes it flare up.

It took me a while to figure out what mine were but, as they mostly always are, they stem from childhood so in many circumstances these have triggers developed from years back when a situation put you under negative feelings and you have corrected this along the years from child eyes through to adult in a developed issue, that has grown in maturity with you and proves a blockage to your future.

These can be the feeling of abandonment when your parents accidentally forgot to pick you up at school, the feeling of self-worth when someone you cared for treated you with disdain and cruelty, the feeling of broken trust that stemmed from abuse or even phobias that have come about after shocking events in our lives like car accidents or loss. Everyone is unique in what has affected them and made you the way you are. I am no different.. but stop beating yourself up when your friends call you ‘difficult’ because the outside world and other people who trigger these past issues in us actually provide us our mirror, you only have to notice the pattern.

To discover what these toxic cycles might me takes a little time.. I mean they can build up from a tiny moment in your life that gave such strong emotions it scarred you as such like a teacher making you stand on the corner of the room because you got an answer wrong making you feel dumb. So for me, I actually noticed a repeat cycle, usually a negative emotional rush you get, stopped in my tracks and thought that this is not me or the person I am or want to be then tried to find the route cause of it. Knowing it and then addressing it with counselling or other professional help is what I went through and it helped me tremendously. The first warning flag is a burst of negative energy, jealousy, anger, disgust, guilt, self-loathing, inadequacy. Anything that triggers these emotions and the situation around you logically doesn’t warrant that extreme reaction.. ask yourself, ‘is how I’m reacting over-the-top?’. Just don’t expect other people to behave differently for you when they have done nothing wrong.. it’s you that needs the changing.

Finding out what your triggers are is just the beginning, addressing issues when you were a child but now grown into an adult with a slightly skewered way of viewing the world is not a balanced existence. Addressing them takes the rest of your life sometimes but it’s a worthwhile journey. I’ve been on this for years now and am finally getting to the point where I feel more balanced but I still need a quiet word with myself if I’m triggered again.. I’m just much better at leaving others out of it now. Takes practice, time, meditation.. but having the courage to really look at yourself in the mirror, know that you are worth it, lovable, beautiful and a magnetic soul cared for and loved by people around you and the Universe, who always has your back.. well, it gives you courage. You make these changes for you but it impacts on them too and your happiness, your peace and self-love shine out and light up everyone else around you paving the way for your wholesome and happy future.

Don't forget the Blood Moon is nearly here! 26th May.. it will give you a jolt of energy and a feeling of fresh starts so think and address the above & make some changes for your future starting now.. also, don’t expect things to change overnight and don’t be hard on yourself. Be prepared for failure and a little bit of a bumpy road. It takes years sometimes to really make peace with our past but you are on your way!

Love & Light☀️

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